Zelda is coming!

Pinwheel that is.
To visit me.
We've been talking.
Being a fellow HSV, the whole sexual thing has popped up.
Not that it's a recent thing.
A function of the impersonal internet.
Create someone in your mind and flirt it up.
After all, you'll never actually meet them.
Though the fact that she's sexually "safe",
no possibility of giving her the gift, ramps it up.
I've been focusing on that.
It's an old distraction technique from who knows when that I use when I want to keep from facing an unpleasant reality I fear.

Before when I had potential lovers knocking on my proverbial door,
I could not see them for what they were.
I had eyes, but could not see...
*virginity blinders.*
Women interested in me for romantic interludes.
Read that "SEX".
(always seems to come back to that)
Let's get neked and do the do!
I was safe. 100%
No STD's.
But I was not engaging in life.

Earlier this year I came down with a virus.
I felt body aches, fever, fatigue, all the classic flu symptoms.
My body cured me and after about a week I felt better.
I had influenza.
The flu is unpleasant and we try to avoid it.
We get shots.
We wash our hands
and spend our $$ on the latest
meds and anti viral soaps.
It's communicable.
We give it to each other.
The flu will recur again and again in our life times.
Do we hide away and avoid our friends?
No.
We continue to hug
and kiss
and shake hands with those we love.
Who, by the way,
were the one's who gave us the virus in the first place.

Earlier this year I came down with a virus.
I felt body aches, fever, fatigue, all the classic flu symptoms.
My body cured me and after about a week I felt better.
I had HSVII.
It will recur again and again in my life time.
Should I hide away and avoid new loves?
No.
I will continue to hug
and kiss
and shake hands with those I love.
Who, by the way,
was the one who gave me the virus in the first place.

The most distressing thing I have experienced with herpes is
the notion that I might give it to someone I care deeply about and love..
My future wife...
The second most distressing is
"the conversation"
with potential new romantic interests.
Not the actual telling,
but the thinking about the telling.
How to aproach it.
The weather is so beautiful today, a perfect segue into S T Ds (cue Monster Truck ECHO!!!, ECHO!!!, ECHO!!!)

Ironically, EVERYONE,
EVERYONE,
I have told so far,
has been supportive and accepting.
No disgusting looks and gasps of fear so far.
I was supportive when 'herpes girl' dropped the bomb shell.
I have met many wonderful people via internet,
who also have HSV. (see Zelda above)

What we don't do to ourselves...

It wouldn't matter
if
I didn't like these women
and fear their rejection of me.

Zelda wants coffee...