Exhaustion

At lunch today, I went out with DJ.
He is young, and energetic, and in the know.

I admire many of the folks at the office for different things.

Superman for his attention to details, his disipline, and his demeaner.

Senior Architect for his friendliness and determination.

For Ubber worker for her go!go! energy and willingness to constantly learn.

And DJ for his excitement with life. He's always ready to try something new or go somewhere. He's a "guy's guy".
***************
DJ and I went to lunch today.
We talked about great Architecture, the kind with a capital "A".
About art, music.
My goal was to avoid shop talk and the negativity that pervades our office.

I let it creep in.
It was at this moment that I realized how poisoned I have become.
***************
I got home tonight and saw Woody.
He's eatting only a pitance.
Not enough to keep going.
When I tried to bribe him with ice cream and wet kitty food, he wouldn't take it.
Zelda and I talked and decided to call the vet and end it.
I do not want to have him suffer one moment than he must.
*Is that for me?
Or for him?*

We put in a call to the vet emergency line to take him in tonight... that would be, to take him in to be put to sleep... *OUCH!!!*

About that time Woody came in from the garage, walked over to the kitty food * I love those two words, the way they sound when you speak them aloud*
and proceeded to lap up some gravy. Then over to scratch his claws on the mat.

He show some interest in food, but not much appetite.

Zelda and I believe he is ready to go. At the same time, he keeps showing signs of wanting to wait a bit...

I am exhausted over my emotions for my cat.
Lack of sleep plays into it somewhere.

I was ready to box him up and take him to the vet tonight.
Zelda and I are going for our Texas Marriage License tomorrow.
She did not want to have the painful memory attached to the joyous one.

Isn't that what life's about?
That is what I have been told...by someone...somewhere.

G*d will decide for Woody. And me. And Zelda.

I need to slow down,
and listen...

What I hear from Woody is...
"Not just yet please".