Easily Distracted
I am coming up on 40 and this has brought up some emotions.
So I thought I'd take a moment to pause and give them a voice.
I've been aware of them, but have succeeded in ignoring/stuffing them so far.
***
1. I'm getting FAT.
I have never been fat.
Ever.
I hate it.
My gut moves when I walk.
It's a completely new sensation and it disgusts me.
I haven't done anything about it.
2. I find it difficult to focus on learning.
My mind is lazy and I have to work at staying on topic when I am doing something I find borring.
I can't say that this is necessarily a new problem.
But it is more difficult to over come.
3. I am eating more junk food in my married life.
See no. 1 above.
4. I have stopped tutoring.
Somewhere in there I "got busy" and let it slip.
5. I am married.
This is a good thing.
It has blurred my edges.
The challenge of changing to accommodate someone else in my life and at the same time, not losing who I am.
Well, I'm becoming someone/something new.
This again, is a good thing.
How do I do this and keep "myself"?
6. I spend more than I ever have.
This is a toss up...
We have successfully paid off both of Zelda's credit cards with in a year of our wedding.
And at the same time, I have charged up both of my own cards.
I will have them paid in full (PIF'd) by this time next year.
But I hate being in bad debt again.
Hate it.
Constantly having to pay the credit card company for my inability to say, "no" to myself and Zelda because I want to look good in her eyes.
(Do not for a moment take that as my blaming Z for any of this.
I am an adult and I recognize I am using Z as an excuse to not be disciplined in my financial self).
7. I have "lost" all my single hood friends.
I enjoy immensely the time I spend with Z and the fact that I am now something bigger than myself.
When we spend all our time together, it doesn't leave space for anyone else.
8. I haven't been to church in years.
Once upon a time, before mom died and I had my personal spiritual crisis, I was very active in church.
I taught.
I volunteered.
I drove bus.
I organized outings.
I participated.
I miss it, but at the same time... I worry/wonder if I would be able to stomach it all.
The politics.
The "Jesus is the Only Way".
That and, "Yes, my wife is a pagan".
(No, it is not any of their business and I would make something up, such as, "She attends the Baptist Church down town".
9. I am really, really, really bad about keeping promises.
10. My lap top has been hacked.
Nothing on it of importance.
But it pisses me off that someone is trying to get my financials, personal stuff, use my computer to hack someone else, send junk mail, etc., etc., etc.
I need to back it up, scrub it, and reload what I want.
Next year I'm going to get an Apple.
So I thought I'd take a moment to pause and give them a voice.
I've been aware of them, but have succeeded in ignoring/stuffing them so far.
***
1. I'm getting FAT.
I have never been fat.
Ever.
I hate it.
My gut moves when I walk.
It's a completely new sensation and it disgusts me.
I haven't done anything about it.
2. I find it difficult to focus on learning.
My mind is lazy and I have to work at staying on topic when I am doing something I find borring.
I can't say that this is necessarily a new problem.
But it is more difficult to over come.
3. I am eating more junk food in my married life.
See no. 1 above.
4. I have stopped tutoring.
Somewhere in there I "got busy" and let it slip.
5. I am married.
This is a good thing.
It has blurred my edges.
The challenge of changing to accommodate someone else in my life and at the same time, not losing who I am.
Well, I'm becoming someone/something new.
This again, is a good thing.
How do I do this and keep "myself"?
6. I spend more than I ever have.
This is a toss up...
We have successfully paid off both of Zelda's credit cards with in a year of our wedding.
And at the same time, I have charged up both of my own cards.
I will have them paid in full (PIF'd) by this time next year.
But I hate being in bad debt again.
Hate it.
Constantly having to pay the credit card company for my inability to say, "no" to myself and Zelda because I want to look good in her eyes.
(Do not for a moment take that as my blaming Z for any of this.
I am an adult and I recognize I am using Z as an excuse to not be disciplined in my financial self).
7. I have "lost" all my single hood friends.
I enjoy immensely the time I spend with Z and the fact that I am now something bigger than myself.
When we spend all our time together, it doesn't leave space for anyone else.
8. I haven't been to church in years.
Once upon a time, before mom died and I had my personal spiritual crisis, I was very active in church.
I taught.
I volunteered.
I drove bus.
I organized outings.
I participated.
I miss it, but at the same time... I worry/wonder if I would be able to stomach it all.
The politics.
The "Jesus is the Only Way".
That and, "Yes, my wife is a pagan".
(No, it is not any of their business and I would make something up, such as, "She attends the Baptist Church down town".
9. I am really, really, really bad about keeping promises.
10. My lap top has been hacked.
Nothing on it of importance.
But it pisses me off that someone is trying to get my financials, personal stuff, use my computer to hack someone else, send junk mail, etc., etc., etc.
I need to back it up, scrub it, and reload what I want.
Next year I'm going to get an Apple.
posted by karlthebunny at 11:12 PM
1 Comments:
If you're interested in getting back in shape, I recommend trying kettlebells. I've been using them for a couple of months and it has helped me to lose some flab, particularly for the difficult to lose area known as the hips. You can google kettlebells but I mainly go to dragondoor.com as a reference source and place to get products.
Paula
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