Discpline

I have, with a suggestion from my girlfriend, decided to discpline my kitty for pooping my carpet.

This is distinguished from being sick and having an accident.

He left me a gift.
For no reason that I could see.

So...
tonight is the first of seven,
gasp!,
that he will be confined to the back bathroom...

He has food.
Water.
A couple of toys.
And a window seat.

I will miss his snuggling at night.
I will miss his coming to see me as I watch TV.

I will miss his "good mornings".

I will NOT miss soiled carpets.
***************

Zelda will be down to visit in less than two weeks!
Here for 7 days!
We plan to visit family. Hers at the first of the week. And mine later in her stay.
I hope to get at least 3 days off that week to spend with her.
Our project was to be at 100% by then. But life happens and it has crept back.
Not a bad thing actually.
****************
Noticed that soda in California was comperable in price to a gallon of gas.
$2.15. This from a restaurant with wait staff.
In Dallas a soda will cost about $1.70 or so, which ALSO happens to be about the amount of a gallon of gas.
This makes soda, as purchaised at a restaurant, around $27.00 per gallon.
I won't complain about gas prices for a while...
**************
I hear Woody crying.
Wish me strength...

Good night all,
ktb

BROWNIES ARE READY!!!!

Woo Hoo!
********
When Zelda comes down for her spring break, we are going down to visit her parents.

I don't have a problem with that.
I have met them. They are nice people. (Hey, her dad is a Texas Aggie! Whoop!)

Am I hypocritical to be okay with sleeping (read that, "Fucking her brains out") with her at her house.
And my house.
But not comfortable wanting to share a room (read that, "bed") at her mom and dad's??? While we are Not married?

Or is that all about me again??
********
The brownies Beckon!!

Who wants a brownie?
********************
Zelda had already planned on the sleeping, or, not sleeping arrangements!
She suprised me today with a reservation to a local B&B near her parents.

I"ll still have to deal mentally with her father knowing I'm sleeping with his "little girl".
(Hey Dad, she's not so little anymore!) My respects to you!

ktb

In 40 short minutes

I shall have brownies!!

As I stood in the kitchen contemplating the baking time, the little voice said," Naw, let's wait till later".
Which caused me to wonder where that voice eminates.

I mean, the brownies are from a box, what could be more easy?
Add this, a little of that, two of those, mix, and pop it into the oven!

I went ahead and made them because I didn't want to disappoint the other voice that gladly squealed with GLEE! "BROWNIES!!!"

I get that same excited response from "COOKIES AND MILK!!!".
Have I said I'm easily amused?

I think it comes from having only myself to take care of.
Self absorbtion.

Me, me, me...
************
Feel MUCH better today.

I caught a bug in Cali.
Mix in a long work day, late nights, confined airplane and jet lag and
Voila!, lack of energy and a head cold.
***************
peace and blessing to all

Sunny California

Here in, for today, sunny California for a site visit to a project.

Senior Architect, some of our sub contractors, the client, the end user, and the client's consulting architect, and me.

It's at times like these when I can clearly see how involved and complex this job can be.
And it's at times like these that I feel completely inadequate.

Everything to keep track of, from Site work and coordination, to the design, to construction staging, to financing, to fighting the buget constraints, to people skills.

That last one being a biggie.

I flew in with a guy who didn't want to be here.
Didn't like the flight delay, (electrical problems forced us to change planes) and the fact that this caused us to miss dinner, and the choice of airports, (John Wayne instead of LAX). Add in a two hour difference and I stayed calm, but there wasn't anything I could have done to change things.
But I did have to listen to him complain.

What could I have done to have resolved this?
I guess I could have told him I wasn't to blame. And I didn't want to hear it. And save it for Senior Architect.
***************
Sometimes I worry as I talk with Zelda that I complain too much.
That would be my gut telling me, "Shut up, I can't do anything about it (which is the Real Source of the problem, powerlessness) and complaining only makes a meditation on the negative, rather than the positive. That is a habit I must break.
She hasn't complained back to me about it. But I can't think that it's pleasant to listen too.
********************
For those golfers in the crowd, in about one or two years time, you can visit our finished product.
For those non golfers out there, I being one of you, we are designing and planning the new club house at the course where a very talented young man learned to play at his father's elbow.
(I'd love to share his name, but since I have bad mouthed my employers, I have to abstain.
Though I may post photos and a model later on. That or I could post a disclaimer.
Anyway.... karmic retribution on me!)
*******************
There is SO much to have to remember.
I have run projects of much smaller scale, through from begining to bidding. But I have not seen many of my jobs built.

This is a design/build.
What is design/build you ask?
Normally the architect is hired by the client and does the complete working construction documents before the contractor is ever brought in.
Design/build combinds the design phase with the construction. The contractor is brought in and pricing is done while the "ink is still drying".
This can be more economical for the client because construction time, and thus the bank loan, is shorter. Less interest. Quicker turn around.
This also means the number$ are in before the final design is, and thus a competitive bid is not possible.
The complexities are magnified ten fold.

It's the Chicken or the Egg.
I don't feel like I am ready for a complex project. (Which I'm not. But then, who ever is?!?)
If it was MY complex project, I bet (if I wasn't totally over whelmed) I would very quickly get up to speed. It's that "ownership" thing.

And I AM learning an incredible amount.

Right now I am focussing on HOW Senior Architect classifies and notes things.
The SYSTEM to use when it's MY baby (and Ass).
************************

There is also the Boss factor.
Senior Architect knows how to get the job done.
He has to go-around-the-boss, Akido like, to accomplish what he needs.
We have another job in house that is right up my alley.

A multi family project.

But the client is the Bosse's wife's sister.
The Bosse's wife being the office VP and Interior Designer.

There is efficiency in using the same size units and same layouts in multifamily for many reasons.
Stacking of drains. Ease of the layout of construction documents. The Coordination with consultants. Efficiency of construction.

The boss has never done a multi family.
Neither has the wife.

His ego is vested in the design.
Her sister doesn't have particular requirements for the unit sizes.

I am going to have to make THEIR mess work.
So I have to develope my go-around skills really quickly...

The client and the city liked my exterior design.
It meets the venacular (the local designs for a region) of the state.
Boss didn't like it, since it wasn't his design. (not complaining here, just sharing the situation).
I was suprised at the emotional responce from him when he saw it and it wasn't similar to his.
(Totally inappropriate for the neighborhood, let alone the construction).
It may be given over to a new guy, should we ever hire one.

My ego wants to be the one to build it...

(Senior Architect,
on the other hand,
is Humble.)

I'm learning...

We'll see...
**********
Hey ZELDA!!!
Marry ME?!

Karlthebunny
Loves
Zelda!!
******

For Zelda's Birthday

I'm not sure what to get Zelda for her up coming birthday.
I thought about wrapping myself up and mailing myself out to her.
But... I wouldn't be able to fit in the mail box, let alone get myself out to the curb all wrapped up.
So I asked her what she wanted, *always a good idea*.

Sigh... she told me
aaannnndddddddd....
I had to explain about the not fitting in the box and the whole, "how do I get up to the height of the box?" even if I did fit.

So she said she'd be happy with

a gum ball machine ring, (what do those go for now a days?),
a date,
and
a Super Ball.

Nothing like a Super Ball to get the cat going!!

Did I say she is easy?
Though I'd have never guessed in a million years about the Super Ball!!

So... where did I put all that change...

klz

Teasing

My girlfriend,
slash
fiance,
slash
main squeeze,
slash
lover
teased me today.

She told me about her day.
Wanting to snuggle.
To kiss.

She told me about a yummy sounding
meal she made.

How she'd
love me.

And even though she's
not able to have sex at the moment
she still wanted to make sure
I was taken care of.

What's not to love?

klz

Wirelessness

I bought the laptop, to get away from the office.
I accepted the free wireless router to
sit anywhere I wanted
to get away from the office.

I was able to get it loaded and recognized today.
Sort of...

I can locate it.
Connect.

But I can't get my ISP to log on...

Persevere!!

clk!

G*d, Words, and Thoughts

Zelda and I had a nice talk last night.

A nice talk about
G*d, Christianity,
Words,
and Thoughts.

I believe that religion was created by Man,
as an attempt to understand the
Unknowable,
Uncomprehensible,
G*d.

This term used by
Very Small Beings,
also collectively known as
Man.
*This Being a non gender specific term.*

As I understand the Old Testament.
We Christians have adopted,
stolen if you will,
a Jewish document.

I say
Stolen,
because we long ago forgot
that we too,
being followers of 'the Christ',
are a child of Jews.

My question to myself, as I began this study of Christianity,
was

"What does it mean to be "Christian"?
I settled on "To be Christ like".
"Christ" being a title, not a name.

So how can I be like
a Christ?

I believe there actually was a man
named Joshua, (Hebrew name translated into the Greek as "Jesus". Sort of like
"Bill" and "William", or "Richard" and "Dick" being interchangable.)
And I actually believe he sought for an intimate relationship with the Unknowable.
But I also believe the Synoptic Gospells (Mathew, Mark and Luke), and not so much on the book of 'John', that he did not claim to be G*d, but 'of G*d'.
As we all are.
Of G*d.

The traditional Hindu greeting is with hands together as in prayer.
This in recognition of the Divine in each of us.

It is for us to Recognize,
Remember,
that we are Created in the Image of the Divine,
and thus,
all,
Divine.
**********
In honor of the Word,
Zelda and I then played
Yahoo's on line version of
Scrabble.
*********
In playing around the net.
I stumbled upon the latest
Yahoo messenger.

It has a little toy that lets you,
with a microphone enabled
computer,
talk to anyone on the planet with an
internet connection and speakers.

Woo Hoo!!!

clk

The Kitty Land Mine Game!

Anyone who owns a cat knows that it is an unconditional love.
It has to be.

I was awaken this morning to Woody hacking up a lung.
By the time I hear his distress, it is Always too late.
So I rolled over and went back to sleep and wait for the light of day.

So this morning as I wondered around the house, focusing on the floor, looking for his 'hair ball', I again regreted mom's choice of carpet color.

Brown.

But not JUST brown, but mulitple shades of

Brown.

The brave thing would be to walk around the house in bear feet so as to make discovery simple.
I'll pass.

As I have NOT found anything, I have decided it was a dry heave.

Though I can't blame mom.
She bought the carpet long before we inherited a cat.
A particularly messy cat.

We got him from my Grandmother, who passed in '94.
And she had brought him up with little treats.
A little milk here and there.

I got him from Mom, who passed in '02, who continued to raise him with little treats.
A little milk here and there.

My sister, who owns, or is owned by, three cats says she has never seen such a messy kitten.

I have tried to continue the trend.
And gave him a little milk yesterday.

Soooo.....

Instead this morning I found lots of little
kitty land mines.

The Rug Doctor will Never go out of business so long as Cats are kept as pets.

"I can't quite make it to my Cat Box! So, I'll start where I was lying.
Next to Bunny, on the white bed cover, then I'll make it to the floor, right in front of the dresser.
And I'll leave them everywhere in between."

So I spent time this am playing Easter Egg Hunt.

Sigh.

I do love this cat...
even if he does
sh*t all over my carpet.

Who am I?

Who is this guy writing this blog?

I am 38.
I am engaged.
Never married.
A gradutate of Texas A&M University, class of '92.
Texan.
A candidate for Registration for Architect in Texas.
Raised Presbyterian.
Joined the United Methodist Church a few years back.
Own an old cat.
Own an even older house.
A new Honda.
A new Harley Softtail Night Train.
Played Trombone in school.
Speak some French.
Some German.
Some Italian.

ktb
*clk*

Alot in the news

about adults preying on children
this week.

Priests and their disfunctions.

A young girl kidnaped and molested by a man. (He was caught in the act.)
(Lord only knows how she will handle this.)

A teacher commited suicide today after being busted in a child sex sting yesterday.

Mike Jackson. (WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GUY?!?!? He was someone to admire 20 years ago...)
***************

Only 60 short years ago, one could go to jail, prison, in certain states for having consensual sex with someone with whom you were not married.
***************
Fuzzy topic that.

If I am a 15 or 16 year old boy,
I can legally have sex with a 14, 15, 16, 46 year old.
Which they are doing these days.
And he's probably the Worst person to be having sex with
if you are that young girl.
Maybe not if you are the 46 year old...

I am not promoting
having sex with teenagers.

(I personally prefer older women and a certain soon to be 35 year old!!)

Bad Day for someone

Towards the end of the day,
we heard sirens out our window.

Now this is nothing unusual,
two firestations are located just up the roads from
our intersection.

But tonight was a bad day for at least three people.

The first was the person who had their car
stolen.

The second would be the women who was struck from behind.

And the third would be the loser who decided to run from the cops.

We watched first hand from our 16th floor perch as the white Honda zigged and zagged through traffic, the parking lot, and back through the streets all the while leading three squad cars on a Key Stone Cops kind of chase.

Senior Architect flipped on the Tv and we saw the above mentioned ending 15 minutes later...
with a frightened woman running from her car on live TV.
******************************

It made our day though...
We saw a car 'chase'!

And after all the insurance papers are filed, and the repairs made, one "lucky" woman can tell the story to her friends of how she, unitentionally, made the news.
***********************

News Update.
No car was stolen.
It was his car.
He was a doctor.
She was a Channel 8 employee.
He was running because he didn't want
to get caught with
crack...

Stupid Head

Sabbath time

When something leaves our lives,
it makes a space for something else.

Fill it.
********************************
Sabbath - the seventh day of the week (Saturday), set aside for rest and worship and observed as such by Jews (from Friday sunset to Saturday sunset) and some Christian denominations.
"Webster's New World Dictionary"
********************************

In continuation of yesterday's thoughts.


I gave up Tv, etc. in order to make space for
people,
G*d,
reading,
walking,
sleeping,
friends,
family.

The original intent of the Jewish Sabbath,
as I understand it,
is to make time for G*d,
and family,
and for yourself.

And what can be more important
than that?

Friday?

Dead line today.
The week is just a blur.
Is it Friday ALREADY?

Wow...

Been driving to and from work with out the radio.
Haven't been interested in the 'noise' since coming back from Zelda land.
uh... no, she's not noisy if that was mistakenly implied...
It's been nice to be able to think not be bombarded with sales pitches and "music, music, music"
***********************************
A respite.
I may continue this as a Lenten Sacrifice.
************************************
As a Presbyterian growing up, I do not recall ever hearing about making 'sacrifices' for Lent.
I associated that practice with Catholicism.

Dad floated from doctrine to doctrine over the years looking for the answers.
He floated through lent. But he didn't share with me, his religious sacrifices.
**************************************
I was introduced to Lent when I joined the Methodist Church as an adult.
A friend gave up soda and alcohol for the 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter.

I tried giving up something simple.
TV and radio. Print media as well.

At first it was a challenge. If I didn't watch TV, what would I do with my time?
Many times in the first week I found myself on the way to the on switch, only to catch myself.

Suprisingly, it was very refreshing.
And I found getting back into the TV habit, didn't come so easily after so much peace.
**************************
For many years I practiced the Sabbath.
"Remember the Sabbath to keep it Holy".
Translation,
Practice Resting on the Sabbath as "I" have done, so that you too may make it Holy. (my paraphrase)

Wow...
G*d gives us power.
Power to make things
H o l y.

How does one "Remember" the Sabbath?

I followed the Jewish habit of not working.
("But I HAVE to *whatever* on Sunday," you say. Yes, there is an excuse for anything you rerally don't want to do. Just do it anyway).
I also adopted:
No Shopping.
No TV.
No Newspapers.
Nor Radio.

The principal being to eliminate anything dealing with "all things work related". (Financial, advertising, buying)

Funny thing happened.

Because I had to get all my shopping, groceries, dry cleanning, hair cuts, etc. done before or after the Sabbath, that Sabbath, (Sunday for me) became THE
Center, the middle about which my week revolved, of my week.
I was made aware of when it was.

Most, well All my Christian friends, family included, refused to join me in my Remembrance.
(See excuses above)
And they missed out on somethings special.
The power I felt.
The serenity.

When was the last time you felt more powerful by Not doing something?

I am more powerful than the forces that want me as a consumer. (Your job Mr. Bunny, is to buy what we're selling you. (Clothes, Ideas, Image)
I have the discipline to decide my fate.
I can shut out all the Noise that is
"A car crash on 35...."
"Two people were killed today when..."
"In the middle east, they are still killing each other..."
"Did you know, we have our hamburgers on sale for only..."
"Buy my line of _____ and look beautiful, get more dates/sex..."
"you don't know what is right for your life, but I do so listen to Me..."
"and if you call with in the next ten seconds, we'll throw in an free..."

I challenge you to try it for a month or three.
See what you think.
And let me know...

ktb

Tutoring

I have been tutoring again.

It began about 6 or 7 years ago when I stopped by the local elementary school to volunteer.
I work with 4th graders.
They have fully developed personalities by that age and are fun.
Third graders are still shy.
Fifth graders are too cocky. Too close to puberty to want to pay too much attention.

I am struggling with the whole to work 100% each day, or taking the time out to help others.
I use my lunch break twice a week.

It's good to see the world through fresh eyes.
I enjoy the challenge of figuring out how to convey an idea in a way in which each child will understand.

Try it, you'll like it.

"Saved"

Single dr told me she finally joined her church.
Nondenominational.

Now what EXACTLY is that?

She took the new member's class this last (Superbowl) weekend.
This church believes that to be "Christian", as they understand it, one must acknowledge Jesus
(Joshua in Hebrew) as their personal Lord and savior.

Now, I interupted her there, and it was probably rude, because it was her story, but what exactly does it mean to "be saved"??

Jewel has a great line in one of her songs off of "Spirit" that goes something like,

'.... to be saved,
we must first believe in Sin.... '

(I'll do some research and up date this with the particulars).

I struggle with the whole.
YOU! yes YOU! are A
S I N N E R !!!!
Cuz some kids had sex back in the 'Old Testament'.
Pretty nice of us Christians to call the Bible Jesus knew as
the 'Old' Testament.

I'll talk about this more later, when I've had more time to collect my thoughts.

In the mean time, check out
Real live preacher
Zelda sent me the link
you can reach his site by clicking on the purple title of today's blog.

He's a Texas boy,
You'll like him!

ktb

Spring Break

Zelda is coming down for spring break.

I'll attempt to get the week off.
I'll have three days off for sure.

I had coffee last night with
my single dr friend.
She is interviewing.
Her intership is ending in June.
I know she'd rather be back in Chicago with friends and family.
She may stay in Big D.

I told her about Zelda and the up coming weekend.
She's excited for me.

I wonder what she's after in life...
I've asked her. And she's told me some of it.

I wonder what kind of man she'll find.
It wasn't me...

A doctor who is a former high school cheer leader.
I'd like to have that on my 20 year high school reunion.
"Hi, yes, I'm a doctor."
Not that being an Architect is shabby.
But I guess I've been one so long, I have forgotten what that sounds like to others.
(I know it's not what most folks think it to be. I still feel in the back of my mind that I still haven't "made it". But then neither did Oprah till she went to Africa and found her calling in helping the children there.)

Anyway, I digress, chasing rabbits maybe?

I'm going to plan a get together with J, and dr and Zelda and go visit the gay piano bar.
Should be fun!

Have a good blessed weekend.

Stray Thoughts

Watching an article on Martha Stewart tonight.
She was reading a line about throwing the bouquet and stopped, because the 'syntax' was wrong.

Reminded me of the Interior Designer Principal.

"Interior Designer"
the title has been over taken, held hostage, by people who are no more than
'Interior Decorators'.

Interior Decorators
pick colors.
Fabrics,
Furniture.
They deal in making a living in the Superficial.
(Except for Senior Architect, all the registered Interior Designers in our office,
are the former. Which is interesting, because they strongly believe the architecture, and consultants should play second fiddle to them. I as an Architect, think of it as a colaborative between ALL parties. And I get to direct. I can't put HVAC in a space needed by structure. I try as best as I can to accomodate all disciplines.)

Now,for an example of what an 'Interior Designer" does,

Picture an office building.
or a mall.

Got it? O'kay,
take out all the walls,
expose the electrical,
the structural,
the HVAC (HeatingVentilation and Air Conditioning),
the floors.

Tear it all the way down to the walls of the next lease space, the ceiling deck (the underside of the floor above) and the floor deck.

An Interior Designer deals with all of the parts of the space, named above, plus the design of the finished look.

This is also known as an Architect.

But even though I do most all this, I don't study furniture. Or fabrics.
So, I have to study 4 years, work under the 'direct supervision' of a registered "Interior Designer" for another 2 (this is for states that require professional registration, ie. Texas)
and take an exam to get the 'Title', Interior Designer.

Just goes to show the power of political action committees.
**************
Woody.
My Woody.

I'm concerned about how he's going to take this whole marriage thing.
He's none too friendly to other cats.
Must be his older age.

And I'm going out of town to see Zelda later today.

Woody will be alone...

Zelda has a pussy.
Well... duh..

What I mean is
I have a Woody,
and she has a
pussy.

Cats!!!


And a very jealous pussy
cat
at that.

Ankle biter!

My goal this weekend is to make the pussys
happy!!

I'll try my best!

Pornography

Pornography...

It's about never getting enough.

And not in a good way.

I have been lost for the last week or so and couldn't figure out why...

Pornography.

Now, it's not 'bad' in and of itself.
But I don't think it is "good" either...
It meets a need.
And at the same time
creates one.

The ultimate advertising.

(This is why
the Conservatives,
and only a *handfull*,
can hold the nation
hostage.
A little S&M so to speak.
2004 SuperBowl anyone?

Violence, murder, don't hold the same
advertising power.

Hear those same Conservatives
complain lately about
gun shot wounds to the head
during prime time?)
********************
Refer "Self Examination", Karlthebunny, September 2004
********************
I have a girlfriend,
who, though not a big FAN
of porn,
isn't offended by it.

And asked if she could see some of the photos
that I have, collected.
So I copied some from my old computer,
to this one.
Makes me nervous
for a number of reasons.

As I copied the files over,
I gave in to the suductive power
of the female form in
Sexual Extasy.

And I began to
compare.

Something Zelda
asked my not to do.
(Forgive me Z)

I suddenly found myself
v e r y d i s s a t i s f i e d
with my lot in life.
Instead of
Grateful.
Full of Gratitude.

Z will never be 6 feet tall, 21 years of age, and blonde.
She is in fact,
a beautiful
5'-5" or so,
brunette with blonde/red streaks,
about to be 3***something,
and currently round.
*In ALL the right places*

I love her.

Yet, I could not understand
why I was not FEELing so.

I have embarrasingly
too many down loaded photos of
naked women.

In the year I had an internet subscription to a
well known
"men's magazine"
I a massed over 2000 photos.
(This is in addition to the hundreds that I found on the net
for FREE)
And that is from a few saved
each day
for a year.

Can you say, "Get a LIFE!"

As I down loaded the photos,
explored the new images,
the different bodies,
I found
I was never satisfied
with the last
pair of tits,
hips,
mouths,
hair,
legs,
asses,
nipples
lips,
pussies.

I wanted more.
And
thus, the
thousands of photos.

For review
and,
"entertainment".

Hmmmm...
Why am I single?
Hmmmm....
Why am I nervous
around women?
Why am I
not feeling?

Z is real.
Present.
And loves me.

If I gave into
the porn,
I'd lose something
precious, ("rare and costly...')
and beautiful,
and REAL.

Z.



Delete

"Are you sure you want to delete these files?"

YES!

If found

The ever incredible
shrinking Zelda!

Lost: 9 pounds!
If found
DO NOT
RETURN.

(There will be
NO finders fee ;) )

Kitty Snores

yahoo is my provider of choice.

something I DON'T like about the messenger is the sellection of sounds.
"wham" is not necessary everytime I get an email message.
So I have replaced it with a recording of my own.

Now when I get an email notification,
my computer plays
Woody snoring.

I have to smile...

Now...
if I could figure out
where and why those obnoxious
"drip!" wav files are located for pop ups!!
Since I have been unsuccessful in shutting it off or muting it,
I'll replace it with
Zelda's giggle...
Or some other Zelda noises *smirk*
something suitable for the office enviornment.
****************
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Zeldaday!!!

Us

We had a talk today,
Z and I.

It is so easy to get caught up in the emotions,
hormones, and romance of a new
infatuation.

We shared our fears, concerns, thoughts, did I say fears? about a long distance relationship.
How do you get to know someone when it is not possible to see them everyday, in their good and bad days?

We are working to figure that out.
I have a lot of work to do to trust enough in the process, and in her, that it won't all evaporate as feelings sometimes do.

We are off to a good, strong start.

Drinking

I just got back from voting today.

I voted against carry out alcohol sales in town.

Not that I am against alcohol.
I voted for in house sales, to bring in restaurants.

This time I voted more out of emotion.
Those who are pushing for carry out keep bringing it back on the ballot.
We the citizens of this town, voted not 6 months ago letting them know how we feel.
'Yes' to in house.
'No' to carry out.

It will keep coming back on the ticket till
those who want,
those with the $$$,
win,

And forget what we, the citizens want...
*****************
It troubles me that many times,
in order to make "good news",
the media seak out the conservative
church members (read that fundmental Christian,
read that Southern Baptist,
read that, the Worst Possible Representative of Christianity)
to have on camera for the "Against" Tv spot.
It makes religion and Christianity
look bad.
Realy bad.

"The Bible clearly says that drinking is a Sin."

Um... who's Bible is he readin'?"

My Bible, and I have three different copies,
says nothing about this being a sin.
("Sin" being "a separation from G*d)
Jesus regularly drank wine.
Maybe Paul/Saul had some concerns.
But I have trouble with Paul.
He never met Christ.
He just makes extraordinary claims about meeting him.
And we, if we are to be 'good' Christians,
are to believe this and swallow what we are told from the Bible.

Tricky question.
"I have a book, writen, I claim, by G*d, the Great Creator.
And in order for it to be 'useful'
I have to convince you, that it is 'the Truth'."

I don't have a problem with that, so long as it is understood that, for me, it is an attempt to understand that which can not be easily understood.

It is a collection of stories meant to explain our relationship with G*d.
Written by people hungering for, longing for, a realtionship with the source of their life.

Methodism officially states that drinking is not good. (Amoungst other things)
Not evil, but not good.
Methodists brought us the speak eazies.
Not intentionally. But Methodist women, concerned about the health of their friends, neighbors, family members, pushed for the constitutional ammendment outlawing alcohol.
And they were sucessful.
Sort of...

I would not mind wine sales and beer sales in grocery stores only.
Or maybe in limited locations. I'd like to see a wine botique on the Old Town Square. But not a liquor store on the corner.
Addison has a great city charter that allows alcohol sales in restaurants.
And carryout only on one street.
Addison has a great location, north of Dallas on the Toll Road.
Addison has free a health club for all citizens.
It also has the unique claim to fame of having the most restaurants per capita than any other US city.

Folks are gonna drink whether it's sold here or up the road.

Harley weather

Today is
Harley weather

The day to dust off the hog
check the tires,
the oil,
the mindset,
and ride.

To enjoy the clear sky
the blue sky
and take a farm road to see where it
will go.

Instead, for many reasons
I sit in my house
away from the sun,
and blue,
and stay
hermit like in my shell.

I am tired...

This time

This time next week...
I will be in Zelda Land.

And all will be right with the world again.

7 days and counting...

Sleep

I'm not getting enough.

Z and I get on the phone, and the next thing I know is my phone battery died and she's calling on my land line.

Our conversations easily last a couple of hours.
We wait till after 9.
Which means it's 11 and 12 by the time we say good night.
Which means I'm still up half an hour or so thinking, and writing.

Which means

I'm not getting enough sleep.

Sorry Z, but we've got to stick to our regiment.
Even if I don't want to...

Lost to love

I am saddened by the lost of my best buddy to love.
I know I shouldn't be, but I am.

I used to be his go to man for road trips and vacations.
"I need to get out of town, want to join me?"
He likes to plan, where as I am more improvise.
We balanced each other out.
Talk shop. Professional stuff. Family.

In the last couple of years, he has moved others into that roll. Which is to be expected.

But now that he and H are serious, those road trips have come to an end.
And as much as I love him, he is embracing the more feminine gay side of himself, which is somewhere I will not follow.

What I'm trying to say is, I'm losing the buddy I knew and loved to the gay side.

I am not ready to see him kissing H. I feel some resentment towards H that is not justified on his part.

He is 'married', and I have to deal with that... and I'm not ready.
***************
Interesting...
I too am engaged.
I too am moving into a new realm of life.
I'll have to find that masculine (and as girlie as J has become, he still is a man) outlet in football season, where H won't go. Though I'll have Z with me...

A LOT of changes to get used too...

All good, just not ready...

Drama...

Those two little words are starting to hit home.

All the changes that have to happen.
I'm tired tonight and that drops my mood.

Z and I talked tonight about what we want, and when...

I am second guessing myself.
Not about Zelda, but in my timing...
We really don't know each other yet.

I have a connection with her like no other.
One I do not wish to lose.

What has happened is...
the world is crowding in on our little tree house

We have been talking wedding plans
Who do we want there.
Where.
Meeting the family.
Meeting the friends.
*I want small* I"d be happy with eloping. At the same time, I'd want C to marry us, J to be there as witness/bestman, and my sister too.

I snuck off to spend a weekend with someone I care a great deal about. And she snuck off to see me. We went to her favorite places. Listened to her music, my music.
Stayed in side most of the weekend and it was our little world.

Now it's about...
Do I move?
Do I stay?
Does she move?
Does she stay?

There is some school debt and cc debt to clear up...
Is it better for me to stay here, for financial advantages, live apart and pay off her debt before making the move?

I do not as of yet know that number.

I want to continue where I am working,
because there is a lot to learn still.
To leave within a year would not let me see the completion of my own projects.
There is moonlighting money I would not have...
To stay for two as I originally plan, would place her at about gradution.
At the same time, I want her to get the degree she wants, what's best for her.
And how long will she be in school? 18 months? 2 years? I don't know.

Suddenly it's about $$$.

If I move north, and she finishes, and then wants to move back to Texas, financially, is that the best solution?

Part of me wants to make this house a home with her.
To take advantages of the low mortgage and good job market in Dallas.
To knock down walls and make plans with her. A garden.
I want to design and build our home, together.

I also know that to make money, one must be willing to spend it.
The real estate market is just as vibrant in Omaha.
It's not like I'm busy buying up every house on the block.

We also talked about family tonight.
Meeting hers, she meeting mine.
Which is really not an issue, I've met her parents.
But I also would rather spend that travel time, and family time with YOU, Z, not the car and the rents. Not this time...

How much did I influence her in asking her so soon?
I am a patient man.
She is an impatien woman.

And if I mention loss of season tickets, she'll feel guilty. *So don't!*

I know this will all clear up after a good night's sleep.

What is the most important thing?
Start with the End in Mind.

Marriage and family.
All else follows...

More to come...

Senior Architect

The senior architect and I had lunch today.
Fast food.
Historically I ate out, but in the last year, I have decided to take my lunch and save money.

The down side is most days I never leave the office to get a break.

Senior Architect told me over hamburgers, that he stays because, except for the office politics, he enjoys all the other parts of the job. He likes the clients (whom can't stand the owners of our company), the contractors, our consultants, the tradesmen, the challenges of the work.
And I can believe it.
It's just when he comes back to the office and has to deal with the bosses...
*************
I appreciate having grown up blue collar. It allows me to appreciate being white collar.
And I will take this with me as I move towards wealth building.
*************
The owners are old money.
They haven't 'had' to work a day in their lives.
Their actions and mentality are completely different.
They aren't wealthy generous,
but wealthy cheap.
Which is sad.
So worried about what others think of them.
The interiors prinicipal actually uses the term "the little people".

Ah... that would be 'us', the staff.
Now I have the opportunity to work
at any company I wish,
so if I get tired of this,
it is not for the owners to change,
but for me to change my employer.
*******************
I choose to develope an attitude like
Senior Architect.

Women and their Boobs

Ah, that would be me.
And men in general.

I was reading a blog sent on to me by a blogging friend, (hmmm, who would that be???)
that was sharing an experience the blogger had with a woman hitting on him at the convience store. (http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=foomanchu Jan 28, 2005 entry)

He's not interested in her, but she doesn't take the hint.
Sort of like Gay Larry at the Piano bar.

But that's attraction.
Either it's there or it's NOT.
And no matter WHAT you do,
if it's not there,
try as you will,
you won't be able to create it,
in you,
or someone else.

And when it's there, it's hard to ignor...

Would explain why it's so hard to find a date.
I liked my Dr friend,
alas, she didn't like me.
I would like to have believed so...
But then I would be like Butterfly (see "Friday's Opera")
And maybe she did.
But that's all academic now.

It is obvious to us who read the blog
that she wants to 'sleep' with this guy.
Though I'm thinkin' she'd be happy
with the storage room on her smoke break.

Depending on how one looks at it.
It can be disturbing.
Or flattering.
She likes the guy.
She finds him sexy.
*******************

I have experienced from time to time
women
who 'brush' up against me
That would be with
their Boobs.
I wonder exactly what is going on
in their minds.
I've had church friends,
co workers
complete strangers
and girls
wanting to get
my attention.
*it works*, but for what?

It usually happens on the
very sensitive
back of my
upper arm.

Exactly what are they
expecting?

For me to push back against them?
Run my hand up my arm and 'tweak' them?
In public?

I have a married coworker,
with an ample bossom,
who
r e g u l a r l y
gets her boobs with in
touching distance.

Now this always requires her to move in
to with in brushing distance,
as she is not THAT big.

Happened today.
I have brushed her with my arm,
a hand,
and now the back of my arm.

Is she hitting on me?
Is she getting a 'cheap thrill'? (cause the contact in and of itself must feel good)
(The woman I am dating, although large, won't let anyone, 'cept me, touch her boobs.)

She is, I assume, happily married.
The only time I even came close to a
sexual innuendo with her was my Woody cat joke.
She did not laugh.

I assume it's attraction on her part to me.

I wonder also if she does this
with the other young architect
in the office.

(And maybe she is 'affectionate', because she has touched my hand when I was drawing something for her...)

He's married and I don't see him letting this happen.
Anyway.

I guess I am naive and 'hope' better of people...

Ladies, why do YOU do this and what is it you want?
Drop me a line...
Help a poor boob out...

(g'nite love)

Mess Spelled

Dating a woman who was a spelling bee champ has made me more aware of my
pour speelling.

Well, I AM an Architect.
Poor spelling comes with the title. At least for me.

In thinking about it today and yesterday,
I know words more by how they LOOK than by
"i before e except after c".

Many times I will second guess myself because the word 'doesn't look right'.
Most of the time it is correct, but seems odd because it's on a computer screen.
Or is in a font that strikes me as strange.

This is not to say that I don't miss spell words regularly.
I do.

I would like to think that I am well educated enough to know.
And proud enough to take the time to look them up on the word processor.
(blogspot, unlike yahoo, doesn't provide spell check.)
And there is also my fingers getting to fast for me on a new/different key board.
This notebook will get some getting used to. (to end a sentence with a preposition).

Fortunately, Zelda isn't arogant, and doesn't look down upon me for being literally challenged...
*tee hee*.